Photographs
by BellatrixisFred
Summary: They were young, bright and brilliant once. People with flaws, people in love, people with dreams, people who weren't willing to just lie down in fear. They were young, bright and brilliant once, now they're just faces in a photograph.
1. Dorcas

_January 1st 1981_

"Happy New Year!"

Dorcas jumped to her feet and yelled along with everyone else, the words coming out slurred and jumbled; no doubt thanks to all the firewhiskey she'd had that night. She sighed happily, slumping back down onto the old couch she had been seated on a moment before.

Other members of the Order were celebrating around her, people she had gone to school with both her age and from different years. Alice Prewett, who had been the Head Girl of Dorcas' year level, was smiling at her fiancee' Frank Longbottom as he told a joke to Sirius Black, who had been in the year below Dorcas, and a girl she didn't know. Lily Evans and James Potter, the impossible couple, were still liplocked, caught up in their New Year's kiss. Peter Pettigrew was surrounded by Emmeline Vance from the year above Dorcas, Mary McDonald and Marlene McKinnon, both of whom Dorcas had shared a dorm with during her time at Hogwarts.

Dorcas sighed again, she'd hoped to get a New Year's kiss herself and didn't blame Mary, Emmeline and Marlene for crowding around Peter. He had a silver tongue that was unmatched even by his charming friends and the bluest blue eyes you've ever seen. Dorcas wouldn't mind crowding around him herself but she'd had her own eye most particularly on Remus Lupin, who had been depressingly disinterested. There had been a bit of a spark when they were at Hogwarts and she had tutored him in Charms, but back then being a year older seemed terribly important. It seemed trivial now. A lot of things seemed trivial now.

"Why the deep sigh? Aren't you happy to see the New Year?"

Dorcas looked up in surprise to see Remus Lupin seated in a corner to her left. She hadn't spotted him curled up there with his frozen martini sending little snow flurries into the air above his glass.

"Very glad, I'm just afraid I won't see another." She admitted, far more easily than she might have had it not been for the copius amount of alcohol in her system.

"Aren't we all?" Remus asked, somewhat ironically.

Dorcas snorted. "I don't know Black doesn't seem too fazed."

"Sirius isn't afraid to die, I suppose that's true. But all the same, I think he'd rather live."

"And who can blame him with such attractive company?" Dorcas asked winking at Remus.

Remus laughed at that.

"So, what, might I ask, would you be doing if all was peaceful and well?" He asked after a moment of silence.

Dorcas shrugged, a little awkwardly because she was lounging against the couch arm but it was a shrug nevertheless. "Who knows? I didn't know what I wanted to do in fifth year when we had those career advice meetings and by then the whispers of You-Know-Who had already started. I'd be a different person if we'd never been at war so I can't tell you what that Dorcas would have done."

Remus nodded, his hazel eyes thoughtful. "Okay then, say the war ends tomorrow. You-Know-Who is destroyed and the Death Eaters rounded up, what then?"

Dorcas shifted a little uncomfortably in her seat, unsure where this was going. "I – well I know I'd help with rounding up the Death Eaters. Then I might – I might become an auror I suppose but I don't really think so. I think I'd join the Ministry and be part of some department which makes stuff. Like you know, Quiddich Stadiums and new areas for wizarding shops. Diagon Alley is sure as hell not big enough we could do with like a wizard mall or something. I don't know something like that. But who knows? Maybe I'd get married and be a housewife. I'd like that; raise a bunch of cute little mini-mes, spend my time baking and tending my garden."

Remus smiled at that. "Sounds rather nice honestly. You know what? I think I'd like to be a housewife as well."

Dorcas laughed. "A house_wife? _In a dress and all?"

"Don't forget the apron." He reminded her.

Dorcas laughed again. "Tell you what Lupin, if we survive this you can be my housewife."

Remus grinned at her taking a sip of his drink.

"You already drink the right kind of drinks." She added, nodding at the ice covered glass.

"Hey! I resent that, a martini is perfectly manly."

"It is not. Grow some balls, take a shot of firewhiskey."

"How can I do that when you and Sirius have finished it all already?" Remus demanded, his eyes dancing with laughter.

"It's New Years! I had to celebrate!" Dorcas protested, her offended act ruined by the fact that she was grinning broadly at Remus.

"Touche'." Remus raised his glass in her direction. "Happy New Year then Dorcas."

She raised her nearly empty cup of firewhiskey in response.

"Happy New Year Remus."

X

_July 3rd, 1981_

"Did you hear?" Lily asked in a hushed tone, as she emerged from Harry's room after putting him to bed.

"Hear what?" James and Sirius chorused, albiet quietly, no one wanted to incur Lily's wrath and wake the baby.

Lily shook her head. "It's not good news."

Remus, who sat in between the two, sighed. He didn't think he could take anymore bad news, not after Mary. Peter had finished a whole bottle of firewhiskey himself and passed out on Remus' living room floor after hearing the news. He and Mary had sort of been seeing each other. It was the kind of arrangement Remus had seen a lot lately, the war drove people one of two ways. Either they were like James and Lily and got married far more quickly than they might have otherwise done. Or, they reached an agreement where they weren't serious or committed, but that had a promise of "if we survive."

Mary hadn't survived. Peter and Mary would never fufil that promise.

"Who?" James asked after a moment of silence.

Lily sighed before answering him.

"Dorcas. Dorcas Meadowes."

Remus felt a stab of pain somewhere in his chest as a lump formed in his throat. Dorcas Meadowes. Dead. She'd tutored him in Charms back in sixth year, all the while he had the biggest crush on her. He still thought she was beautiful, still thought she was wonderful but he was a werewolf and they were at war. It wasn't the time, she deserved better - there had been a lot of reasons to not do anything about how beautiful Dorcas Meadowes was. And now she was dead.

"Dorcas." He whispered, putting his face in his hands. He felt many emotions at that moment but none of them were concrete, none clear. Dorcas Meadowes had been beautiful but Remus Lupin had never loved her. Right now he wasn't sure if he was glad to be spared the pain of loving her only to lose her, or if he regretted never having the chance.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked after another long silence.

Remus looked up into his concerned friend's face and smiled weakly. "Yeah, I just – "

"You were thinking maybe if you both survived." Sirius supplied.

Remus nodded in agreement and there was another long moment of silence.

"But we didn't."

X

_I'm thinking of making this into a series featuring characters of the first war. Them during the war and then either them dying, others reacting to their death or their lives after the war. Perhaps a new marauder fic even? Maybe I'll even give Dorcas and Remus a chance, who knows. If you're interested let me know._

_ For now, however, it is a one shot. Hope you enjoyed_


	2. Edgar

**Edgar Bones**

_"…That's Edgar Bones, they got him and his family…"_

_November 26th__1980_

There was a crash at the end of the hallway, they had broken through his barricade as he had known they would but by Merlin he hoped whomever had shattered his ward had been the one ordered to kill him. It would serve the sick fuck right being punished for their failure, because there was no way after breaking that ward the wanker would be conscious.

It was something Amelia had taught him. The thought of his sister was burning, painful hope. Amelia wasn't home! She was at headquarters for the next week. Even if they wanted the entire Bones clan, the Death Eaters loved to take whole families out, they'd never get Amelia. They would have to send a dozen Death Eaters to take her down anyway. Bright, special perfect Amelia. Edgar had never been grateful to have such a brilliant sister until now. Oh he had been proud of her but standing in Amelia's shadow when you were four years older had been hard. Hearing "why can't you be more like Amelia" had been hard. But now, with anti-apparition charms all around and the sound of manic children running up the stairs, ready to kill him, now he was glad for brilliant Amelia. Now he wished for brilliant Amelia. Amelia would've gotten him out, Amelia would have saved him, Merlin he wished he could see her one more time, hear her promise to protect his family, she would do it he was sure but he would like to hear her -

"It's this one!" A woman cackled outside his door, her voice full of madness, breaking off his frantic thoughts. "It's the only one that's warded!"

They were outside his door. He didn't have long now. His vision swam with images of his family. Lisette, beautiful, wonderful Lisette. Had he told her he loved her that day? And Jeffery, he would never see their son grow up. Merlin he wasn't even walking yet, he would never get to take his son to quiddich or see him off to Hogwarts. There was a sound outside the house and Edgar nearly choked in terror.

Merlin, protect her. He hoped that Lisette didn't come home till they were gone.

He hoped she didn't come home at all. He hoped someone else found him. Someone who would warn Amelia. He hoped Lisette had the sense to go to Amelia. He hoped she didn't cry too much. He hoped she told Jeffrey that he had been strong, that he had been brave. He didn't feel brave, he was scared and he wanted to scream and most of all he wanted to kill the sons of bitches outside his door but if his son couldn't have a father living to tell him about the war he wanted his son to have a father who had died a hero.

A dull thudding had begun on the other side of the door. His ward was throbbing from the energy it was taking in, it would probably kill a few of them – it might even kill him if they kept at it like that, but that would be better than -

"EDGAR!"

The thudding stopped.

His heart dropped.

Lisette.

"You get the screaming bitch, I'll break the ward." A man's voice said outside and the insane woman cackled in response.

And then Edgar's mind stopped working properly.

"NO! LISETTE!"

Edgar had no idea what incantation he spoke but his ward exploded and, as he had hoped, the force sent the man by the door flying into the stone wall behind him and, judging by the blood splattered everywhere, he was dead. Edgar wondered if all the killing he had been privy too and all the fighting he had been doing was rotting his soul because he felt nothing but satisfaction as he stepped over the man's body.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

He didn't even have time to look up and observe his killer but he thought it was the mad woman. For a second he felt a surge of anger at his unknown killer and then – he felt nothing.

X

Amelia lie on her bathroom floor staring at the ceiling. They got Edgar. She had thought she was ready for the emptiness, for the heartbreak of losing Edgar. He was strong, wilful and unrelenting, her childhood idol and best friend, just older and jaded like she had never imagined him becoming. He was a fighter, she had known they would want him but – she had thought when if he died she would have a task, have purpose to protect the little family he would leave behind.

Only he didn't leave them behind. The Death Eaters sent them with him. She picked up a broken glass that lie beside her and threw it violently against the wall, shattered glass showering her legs as the pieces fell to the ground. Fuck the Death Eaters.

She wished that she was still seven and Edgar was her cool older brother back from Hogwarts and she wished that Lisette had been a little smarter and that she had loved Edgar just a little less. But Amelia should have known that Lisette couldn't go on without Edgar and she shouldn't have let Lisette out of the house on her own, Lisette was pretty and kind and many wonderful things but she was not clever.

She'd run in crying, screaming for Edgar when she saw the dark mark. Surely her brain had shut down, perhaps she had stopped caring about life but Amelia didn't believe that. Lisette just didn't think, it was beyond her that the Death Eaters might still be there.

She'd run in crying, screaming for Edgar. She'd run in crying, screaming for Edgar with her baby boy in her arms. Someone else had screamed too, there had been a flash of green and poof. Lisette and Jeffrey were gone too. Amelia should have been there. She would have stopped Lisette at least, she would have saved Edgar at best.

Somewhere downstairs one of her mother's old Christmas records began to play of its own accord and the pressure that was tightly coiled around Amelia's heart burst. A crack and the tinkling of glass falling to the ground told her she had broken the mirror, her first act of accidental magic since she was nine. Amelia Bones, perfect, brilliant Amelia Bones, Head Girl, prefect, genius, friends with all the right people, always perfectly in control of herself, always has it together, Amelia Bones broke.

If she had thought her first Christmas without their parents was hard, it was because she had never imagined Christmas without Edgar.

_A/N: So this is officially a series. Each chapter will stand alone and will be centered around a member of the original Order of the Phoenix and the aftermath of their death. _

_Next up: Marlene McKinnon_


	3. Marlene

_**Marlene McKinnon**_

_February 7__th__ 1980_

_"…that's Marlene McKinnon, she was killed two weeks after this was taken…"_

"BECAUSE YOU'RE NEVER FUCKING HERE!" She screamed at him, panting for breath, red in the face, her heart racing, her heart hurting, her head pounding. They were always fighting these days, fighting, fighting, fighting. Things turned ugly this year, the hope they had all had that first year out of Hogwarts was fading fast and things were changing fast. She didn't know who to trust or who was winning but lately this fight felt a lot like losing and she and Sirius had turned on each other. The order meeting today had been wonderful and terrible at once, so many people not there that were last time but also the relief of seeing old friends alive in such uncertain times.

There was a long moment of silence as these thoughts ran through Marlene's head and Sirius stared at her, the same thoughts probably running through his, before, at long last, he sighed. "Fuck this isn't working is it?"

She shook her head, slowly, because she wasn't ready for this to end. Not yet, not when this might be all she was living for. But she couldn't disagree. This wasn't working. They were both too broken and they were gone for too long and it was too hard to do this in the middle of a war. She was a ruin and he was a mess and together it was bound to be harder but that didn't mean it wasn't better because it was better, it was somuch better when she was with Sirius.

"Everything's falling apart." She whispered and suddenly something in her cracked and she was crying, tears spilling down her red cheeks. His arms were around her and she tried to take comfort in that but a terrified voice in her head whispered "_for how long."_

"We're not." He whispered reassuringly. "We're not falling apart. It's just – hard. We're gonna fix this, we're gonna fix _us."_

Taking in a deep, if shaky breath, Marlene nodded and waited. He had something to say. They fell into each other's arms whenever it was all too much and there were only three other people that knew him like she did and even on them she had an advantage. She knew when he had a point to make.

"Maybe we should take a break. A week or two, a month at most. Go back to having separate apartments again. Have our own space so we can miss each other again." Sirius looked, anxious, worried, _vulnerable, _the side of him Marlene only saw on occasion and the side of him she thought she probably ought to see more often. They were in a war and he was regularly fighting his family and she _knew _it took a toll on him and she knew he shared all this with James. They had been together for nearly three years now but she still tried to avoid crying in front of him and he still to hide the fact that he was a human with all the flaws that come with that. After three years they should be over that but they weren't, not yet.

It was because of this, however, that his vulnerability was able to reassure her. "Alright, two weeks."

"Still owl me, or Lily, when you're going out. Going on a break doesn't mean I don't want to know you're okay." He said in an urgent whisper, kissing her cheek.

She smiled at that, nodding her assent. "You too."

"Of course."

"So – that's it? No contact, except to assure the each other we're alive, for two weeks?" She asked after a moment of silence.

"I think we need a bit of space to react to the ugliness around us without lashing out at one and other." Sirius said, his way of agreeing with her.

"Alright then."

"See you in two weeks." He whispered, and this time he kissed her on the lips.

It would be the last time.

X

_February 22__nd__ 1980_

"We were on a fucking break." Sirius moaned dejectedly into the pillow of her and James' shitty sofa. "We were on a fucking break and I lost my last two weeks with her."

Lily didn't know what to say. He wasn't wrong. They _had_ been on a break, but honestly she couldn't deny that they had needed it. When things went wrong, or became too much she shoved James against a wall and took her anger out on him that way, or she baked care packages for everyone they knew because if she felt like shit surely they felt like shit. James went flying and spent hours petting their surprisingly cuddly cat. Marlene, Lily's heart clenched at the thought of her friend and she swallowed the lump that had risen in her throat. Marlene and Sirius had lashed out at each other, saying hurtful, cruel, spiteful things just to see a reaction.

She understood the appeal, she and James had done the same thing for years and it was only her understanding that kept her from advising Marlene to end the relationship. But it had been too much, they had become toxic for one and other and yet incapable of being without each other.

They needed the break, but Sirius had lost his last two weeks with Marlene. Tears began to spill out of the corners of Lily's eyes unbidden and she fought back tears.

_Marlene, Marlene, Marlene._

Gods, there couldn't be a world without Marlene.

Lily didn't want to live in a world without Marlene. Marlene fucking McKinnon, feisty, fierce and loyal. She loved with all her heart and Lily had loved her right back. A part of her thanked the stars for her time with Marlene, another part screamed at them for taking her away. Marlene McKinnon, Marlene _fucking _McKinnon. How could she comfort Sirius when she was so broken? How could she tell him Marlene was in a better place when her heart screamed for her best friend? How could she stop Sirius throwing himself at danger? Stop him from dying needlessly? How could she herself go on if Sirius gave up? (And James, oh what would happen to James without Sirius?)

"At least she got three of them when she went." Lily said, finally. It was the smallest comfort, but she knew it would have pleased Marlene to die fighting and to drag some of the bastards who made them warriors instead of people with her.

"Good ole Marlene." Sirius said with a laugh. "Of course she did." But the laugh sounded more like a sob.

_A/N: These are all terribly depressing, sorry but I'm far more enamored with the marauders generation and their lives were kind of depressing. Next up: Gideon and Fabian Prewett (spoiler alert: Molly makes an appearance!) _


End file.
